The world's leading pleasure brand, LELO, wants you to celebrate National Orgasm Day at the top of your lungs. Building off of their World Cup of Sex global survey into people's scoring habits, they found that almost half of all sexually active adults currently populating this earth have faked an orgasm at one time or another, 47% of them, to be precise.
In their mission to lower that percentage, LELO's sex experts want you to practice, practice, practice and show off everything you have learned on the final exam that will be held on July 31st, worldwide.
Because we're all such overachievers, here is a complete guide that will guarantee you an O the size of the moon and a pass on the final exam.
1. Study the exam material by yourself before meeting with your study-buddy.
When we say exam material, we mean your body and when we say study-buddy, we mean your partner. Or toy. Or both. Poorly constructed innuendos aside, getting in touch with your body (pun intended) and figuring out what gets your motor running will:
a) help you get off
b) help someone to help you get off
c) help you learn your preferences so you can choose a nice toy to treat yourself with once you totally smash this exam.
2. Communicate. If you're old enough to do it, you're old enough to talk about it.
That's right, we said it. In the year 2018, where women buy their own condoms like it's nobody's business (because it's really not), every single person that's doing it, should be able to actually talk about it. First and foremost, talk to your partner - there is literally no I in orgasm. Now that you have finally gotten to know your body, it's time to share the knowledge. And in this case, sharing definitely is caring. Oh and talk to your friends. Everybody's doing it.
3. Ditch that unisize mindset. There is no right or wrong.
Orgasms are not a one-size-fits-all thing. Even that pair of unisize sweatpants you bought last week are not a one-size-fits-all, let's be honest. While talking about sex and self-lovin' is important, remember that what works for your friend, might not work for you. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You'll just have to do some more research. Damn.
4. You might not be given a written exam, but there might be an oral exam in the works.
We promise this was the last pun. Anyway, once you have learned what floats your boat, it's time to apply the knowledge! Grab a willing partner, or your trusty toy, or even better, grab them both and go to town! It's an orgasm, not rocket science so just relax - you'll ace this exam.
Your report cards are due for inspection August 1st, first thing in the morning.