Category: Caribbean Woman Created on Friday, 17 August 2012 06:24
I thought I saw it all when Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries parted ways after only 72 days of marriage. Alas! I was wrong. Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada have parted ways after 41 amazing days of marital bliss. While most are ready to jump on the domestic violence bandwagon in support of Evelyn, I actually feel bad for Chad. Relationships are falling apart because women are setting themselves up for failure. Yes, I said it. Women are setting themselves up for failure. It’s high time women take responsibility for the unhappy unions we find ourselves in.
On the list of things couples should be discussing six months before the wedding, I’m pretty sure the conversation in this video shouldn’t be on the list. Then again, the world is a strange place, I might be wrong.
I’m neither condoning domestic violence nor cheating, but we really need to put things in context. If a man makes his position clear, why is it so difficult for us to take his word for it? Is it really fair to blame them when things fall apart, after they have told us exactly how they feel? Is it fair to be upset with them when they are doing exactly what we’ve put up with? It ain’t fair.
Ladies, it’s okay if some things are non-negotiable. If you have zero tolerance for cheating, don’t tell him to get some condoms and pretend to be cool with that type of behaviour. Tell him you’re not into freaky, open relationships and be friends. At the end of the day, a great friendship is much better than a crappy marriage.
Instead, we are too busy trying to figure out a master plan, how to change a man into the man we really want, and how to get him down the aisle as fast as possible. All this time spent trying to manipulate the relationship will only lead to stress after the wedding because the entire relationship is a lie. When women aren’t busy trying to concoct an outcome, we are too busy trying to please this man in every possible way and not being true to ourselves.
We don’t know every detail of this relationship, but we can’t expect men to change just because they’re now married. Marriage doesn’t change behaviour or character. That person is the same person they were before walking down the aisle. We can accept a man for who he is, but we don’t have to make his choices our choices. We shouldn’t have to relinquish what’s important to us, in order to please or keep a man. Avoid the drama.
Editor-in-Chief's Note: Ebonie Jones is a freelance Editorial Contributor with MNI Alive
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