Category: Caribbean Woman Created on Wednesday, 25 July 2012 23:45
When I learned that Love and Hip Hop Atlanta’s Karlie has West Indian heritage, I was excited to tune in. I love it when my people are on TV. No surprise, I got more drama and rachetness than I bargained for. According to Issa Rae rachet is defined as, “If “ghetto” and “hot s****y mess” had a baby and that baby had no father and became a stripper, then made a sex tape with an athlete and became a reality star,” that would be rachet. Yes, the level of dysfunction in this particular show surpasses every other, stereotypes run rampant, and logic is nonexistent. Nevertheless, every experience is a learning experience, and a few things became apparent.
Men don’t stress.
Fact: As men get older, they become more selective. As women get older they become more desperate.
What’s up with that? Well, men are more comfortable being single. They have no problems attending their boy’s wedding, wishing the couple the best, and going home to their bachelor pad, as happy as clams. This isn’t particularly true for women. We seem to get aggravated as our counterparts get hitched, and show up at the wedding secretly hoping the marriage falls apart after three months. Ladies, we need to be comfortable being single, and we need to stop clawing at the gate of desperation.
Men don’t settle.
Fact: Men often end up with what they want. Women often end up settling.
Apparently, women don’t know what they want, and insist on dating the same men who run the same game. We seem to be carrying the same issues from relationship to relationship, and obviously we don’t learn from previous mishaps. If we don’t take the time to figure out what our problems are, our problems will never be fixed. We will continue to have the same relationship with different people. Eventually, we’ll believe all men are the same and settle. Men don’t settle. They press on to greener pastures because they know there is no rest for the weary.
Men pay attention.
Fact: Men pay attention to red flags. Women ask, “What red flags?”
When men see red flags they either (1) address them and stay; or (2) address them and leave. Ladies either (1) address them and stay and fuss; or (2) address them and threaten and pretend to leave. Sometimes I wonder if we take anything we say seriously. Love doesn’t mean we ignore his stupidity and ignorant behavior. We need to figure out what our deal breakers are. Deal breakers are reasons to leave. They are not reasons to chase after him and show up on his doorstep. They are not reasons to try to change him. Who wants to waste time trying to change a man when the time would be better spent changing ourselves.
Ladies, stop the madness. Let’s get it together.
Editor-in-Chief's Note: Ebonie Jones is an Editorial Contributor with MNI Alive
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